Still, I've mostly failed at staying detached. I was in love with our little girl the first time I saw her picture, and I've only fallen more in love. I was sure from the beginning that she was supposed to be part of our family, though for a long time I didn't think that was going to be possible. That didn't make me want it any less, though I was happy that she would be going to a good home, even if I was sad it wouldn't be mine.
Since I found out that we would be able to work on bringing her home my love for her has grown even more, I think because I don't feel like I have to hold it back any more. Her picture is up on my computer constantly (many pictures of her, really), and I look at it multiple times a day. It's similar to looking at my boys when they're sleeping -- I feel this great outpouring of love, and want to go over and hold them, even though I don't. That's what I feel when I see her picture. I am so in love with this little girl, and I absolutely cannot wait until I get the chance to go over to her and pick her up and give her that big hug I've been dreaming of.
And, since I can't share pictures of my little girl yet, but I love pictures on blogs, here's a picture of one of my little boys sleeping:
Praying for your journey Katie. I often wonder at how I can miss someone so much that I have not met yet. I love my little Lucia just as much as my biological son even though I haven't held her yet. Blessings, Tracy
ReplyDeleteI memorized every line of my daughter's face. My husband would walk into the room and find me leaning against the counter, staring at her beautiful picture on my computer screen, a love affair I began a year ago, and one that I hope to continue for the rest of my life...Hang in there, friend. Your day is coming. I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this too! I saw a child at the park and thought right away that something about him reminded me of our daughter to be. Then, I quickly realized that it was the fact that their mouths and smile were similar and it dawned on me how much I have studied her little precious face!
ReplyDeleteFun picture of your little boy! Looks like there could be a funny story there! ;-)
Cynthia
http://www.adreamadoption.blogspot.com
You are not alone in this! It took so long for us to be able to commit to Heidi...so many times I thought we would never be able to, so many times my logical self whispered not to get attached, not to get my hopes up...I'm so glad we serve a God who IS hope itself. He does not disappoint. Here we are 10 mo's later(with almost all of those months spent in waiting) with our home study almost completed and a reg. dossier almost ready to go. It will come. :)
ReplyDelete~Amy
Hi! Just wanted to say hi! I will refresh to see if it allows, but right now, I can't see the follow option. I agree, the photo looks like there could be a story there but you know, it looks like a pretty safe place for a child to sleep if you don't have a cot! :)
ReplyDeleteSlow and steady finishes the race! Keep you chin and your spirits up and you'll be kissing that pretty little face one day!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute picture. Congratulations on your exciting news!
ReplyDeleteI am not adopting (too old); I just like to hang around with some really great people who are. I try to be a supporter, an encourager, a cheerleader -- whatever you want to call it -- and a prayer warrior for anyone who needs it. God bless you in your journey. He will be with you every step of the way. Don't be afraid to call on Him, and don't be shy about asking your co-adopters anything at all!
ReplyDeleteRosemary
It's good to know I'm not the only one who's memorized their child's face long before they've actually met.
ReplyDeleteLu, my follower widget only seems to work about half of the time. I really don't know why -- I'm not a huge fan of blogger because it's much harder (for me at least) to look at code, etc, to find out what's going wrong. But it's easier to connect with friends on, which is why I chose it for our adoption journey.
There is a story associated with the picture. I tried to find just a normal picture of one of my kids sleeping, but of course I only pull out the camera when something funny is going on. This was when we were living in a 2-bedroom hotel room for a month, which meant all 3 boys were sharing a queen bed in one room. Most nights it worked all right, but some nights one of them would keep getting up to play, turn on the lights, etc, and keep everyone from sleeping (since it was just me and the boys there it was especially important that they sleep!). That night it was my 3yo, Nathaniel, who wouldn't stay in bed, even though he was the most tired of all. I needed some place dark and quiet to put him, and there just weren't many options, so he went in the tub in my bathroom. He was extremely unhappy with me about it, but he passed out after about 3 minutes, at which point I snapped a picture, because it was just too cute.
As someone who has gone on to meet those little faces, their real faces are SO MUCH BETTER than that photo. I just can't wait until you get to see her beautiful little face in person!
ReplyDeleteI thought maybe Nathaniel put himself there to get away from his brothers! Ha ha. Love you and those boys! (and girl to come *crossing fingers*)
ReplyDelete