Since there are absolutely no guarantees in international adoption, and since we're still in the beginning stages of the adoption, I've tried to stay a little bit detached. I know there's the possibility that no matter how hard or quickly we work we might not be able to adopt the little girl who we're working on bringing home.
Still, I've mostly failed at staying detached. I was in love with our little girl the first time I saw her picture, and I've only fallen more in love. I was sure from the beginning that she was supposed to be part of our family, though for a long time I didn't think that was going to be possible. That didn't make me want it any less, though I was happy that she would be going to a good home, even if I was sad it wouldn't be mine.
Since I found out that we would be able to work on bringing her home my love for her has grown even more, I think because I don't feel like I have to hold it back any more. Her picture is up on my computer constantly (many pictures of her, really), and I look at it multiple times a day. It's similar to looking at my boys when they're sleeping -- I feel this great outpouring of love, and want to go over and hold them, even though I don't. That's what I feel when I see her picture. I am so in love with this little girl, and I absolutely cannot wait until I get the chance to go over to her and pick her up and give her that big hug I've been dreaming of.
And, since I can't share pictures of my little girl yet, but I love pictures on blogs, here's a picture of one of my little boys sleeping: